I was sitting on my friends bed with her when she came out as gay
and I was looking through a Chinese food pamphlet
so I put it down, looked at her and said “I was going to suggest ordering food but I see now you’d prefer to eat out”
and I don’t think she’s ever really forgave me
well sir, my resume only says “local stance hero with over 1000 instagram followers” because honestly what else would you need to know before hiring me? I mean really?